Entry #8: 35

          I get it pronouns can be hard at times. We as a society love to place people into boxes, neat, simple, pretty boxes. English teaches us to do this, so we naturally assign people gender pronouns based on what we see. The problem is currently people do not just base the pronoun they use on vision but on what the other person sounds like. Then if their senses fail them and they still do not know what gender pronoun to use most people use the word, it. Using the pronoun it is extremely disrespectful, by doing so it allows people to think of the other person as non-human. Thinking of the other person as non-human then allows people to think they are better than the other. Today an older very beautiful trans woman dressed elegantly stopped by my work. I was happy to see her and wanted to wave but did not want to draw attention to her presence. The reason for this is because my current boss is transphobic. He enjoys making fun of people to make himself feel better, something I cannot and do not tolerate. The transaction with the patient was nearly over when he starts in with the comments. I loudly state, “I'm not listening to you.” My manager seemed to get the idea and but another employee said, “I thought he was beautiful and dressed nice.” I quietly corrected her by saying, “She.” The employee graciously said, “Oh yes I'm sorry I meant she.” Then that's when my manager, without thinking, let all of his thoughts fly out of his mouth, “What was that? It was wearing a dress.” I just kept correcting him louder and louder, “She, she, SHE, SHE!” I had nearly started to yell in order to speak over him when I turned toward him and said, “You are talking about a person not an object! Don't use it, use she!” And just as quickly as the outburst started, it was over.

      

          I am not sharing this story to vent. I am hoping this story encourages everyone to speak out, even to your boss, when anyone is being discriminated against. Everyone deserves to live how they chose without being attacked verbally or physically. 21 trans women were killed in 2015 and five months into 2016 the murder total is at 10 trans women and one trans man. Kandis Capri, 35, was one victim in 2015, she lived in Phoenix, Arizona. She was only 35 years old and was shot to death for being trans, shot for living in her truth. Imagine living your whole life in a body that did not reflect how you felt inside. You finally get up enough courage to tell your parents how you feel and are disowned for being different. No one treats you like a human, they treat you as if you are disfigured or infected with a contagious disease. You cannot find work because no one will hire you, and you surely cannot rent a place to stay without a job. You are homeless and alone with no help in sight. Because you are exposed to people 24/7 you become a target for hate. Strangers yell obscenities at you and you are under constant threat of physical violence. All because people have placed you in a neat, simple, pretty box that tells them they are better than you, more human than you. This is the reality most transgender people face on a daily basis. Kandis Capri lived to be 35, that is the average life span of a trans woman. 35 years old. How many years would you have left in your life?